Me, myself and I

Hello there,
I often get younger very lovely too may I add people coming to me for advice over various topics which they may be struggling with. I recently got told maybe I should write about a blog about it. So here we are, hopefully my experiences can help others going through the same thing and at the same time boost your self esteem, because it really can help when you know someone else is going or has gone through the same things as you. My blog will predominantly focus on my dyspraxia/dyslexia but will also feature other experiences I have been through. Hopefully by reading this you will understand why I tweet/ support the charity Dyslexia Action a lot and why rasing awareness is so so important to me. If I can help one person by writing this than it's been a good thing.

As a child I was very clumsy, was often bumping into things or other people (not much change) my handwriting looked like the Egyptians hyroglipics and I dreaded P.E lessons as my hand eye co-ordination was dreadful. I often scared my mum because I used to fall head first down the stairs oopsie. I also really struggled with spelling. I was 4 when I was diagnosed with dyspraxia, which is quite young, but back then dyspraxia was very unheard of, it still is now to be honest. The amount of people who just stare blankly when you mention the word. My parents had to fight and fight for me to get help, my mum was even accused of being an overprotective mum when she went into get me some help. I was always being pulled up for the state of my presentaion, constantly told to re do things and was made to feel like I was lazy and wasn't bothered. In P.e lessons I was always the last one picked, the one who people didn't want on their team, the one who they knew wouldn't be able to hit the ball to score a rounder. It lead to me being bullied quite badly as well as being un-coordinated and clumsy I was very tall. So I stuck out like a sore thumb, when it was sports day I used to run arms flapping like some demented chicken. Looking back it must have been quite an amusing sight to see. In turn it made me very shy and very lacking in self esteem and confidence.

As I got older it was evident that there were other things that there could possibly be, my memory was awful, organisation all over the place, time keeping not great and was really struggling with the writing side of things. When I was at secondary school and then sixthform I didn't know anybody who had any needs, I was the only person who had extra time for exams and nobody else seemed to struggle, at the time I really thought am I the only person who has these problems? I will never forget when we had to do the general studies exam and everybody else got up and left and I was sat there still writing, with everybody else looking at me as to think why has she got extra time and we haven't? It was very embarrasing.

 When I was at university I had a really bad experience, I got made to drop qualified teacher status because the lectures werent understanding towards my neeeds. I got told I was an adult now and that I had to make up my own coping startiegys. This lead to me developing very low self esteem and confidence. Even though I had told them about my dyspraxia/dyslexia. I was also got asked if I had these conditions why was I doing well in the uni assignments. This made me feel stupid, like how could someone with a specific difficulty do well at university, it also was a very ignorant thing to say.  But also it made me more determined to help spread awareness and that nobody should go through the same esperience which I did and this is why I like helping others and spreading awarenesss on twitter.

The experience at uni also lead to me feeling scared of being open to people about my difficulties, I thought nobody would understand and that if I told people they would either not want to get to know me or it would effect my chances of getting a job. I think in the adult word of work people expect you to have overcome all the difficutlies you may have had growing up. For the majority of people this can be true in some ways with intervention their reading and writing may have improved considerably. But no matter what coping stratiegies someone may have you will always have good days and bad days where everything goes to pot and employers need to realise this.

Part of the reason for this although you hear about especially dyslexia in the media thanks to celebrities like Mollie King to name one of many who talks about her experiences, you never hear it talked about in a day to day setting, you never hear people say oh I'm having a dyslexic day today my spelling is all over the place, or my memory is awful today I can't remember anything and I kee forgetting things. Thats why it's so so important that celebrities like mollie talk out so that people don't realise that they are on their own. I long for the day when I could go into work and be open about having a typically bad day, same with explaining the positives of the conditions such as creativity. I also think it's really important to think outside the box to what these conditions are, as so many people assume that dyslexia is just about reading and spelling and dyspraxia is about being clumsy, yes they are but theres also a much bigger picture and the other sides to dyslexia such as memory, organisation and time keeping to name a few should be talked about just as much as the others.

Thanks for reading my first blog, if you feel in the same position as I have remember you are not on your own there are so many others going through what you are, I know it's hard when people donn't understand but the more we campaign for awareness the more understanding people will be. Stay strong, and no matter what life throws at you, you are an amazing person who can bring so much to the world, don't let anything defeat you.