Monday, 26 November 2012


Two blogs in one night aren't you lucky people, but my second blog is on self image, self confidence and self esteem.

I see so many people especially young people saying if I was as skinny as x celebrity I would be beautiful, if only I could have y's flat stomach I would be gorgeous. Or all my friends are the beautiful ones who have lots of boy friends and lots of friends and I'm  the fat, ugly loner. And you know what I've been there far to many times myself. Right from a young age at primary school I was bullied about my shape even though I was never over weight at the time I was just very very tall.
I was never seen as pretty was merely the fat friend.
When I was 16 I was diagnosed with polysistic overy syndrome some of you may have older sisters, aunties or your mum may have it, or you may indeed have it yourself. It's quite common a lot of women have it in different forms, Victoria Beckham for one person has it.
It made me without going into a lot of detail, gain a lot of weight, suffer from really bad acne both on my face and my body and have hair where girls really should never have hair, it made me in all honesty feel so masculine.
I was obsessed with wanting to be as tiny as the celebrities and never imagined that a boy would look at me twice. It lead to years of me not eating properly and being ashamed of myself and my body shape. I eventually lost the weight I'd gained but it was never in the healthiest of ways shall we say. It also lead to me feeling depressed and worthless.

Eventually as time moved on I started to take medication and my symptoms improved. Although my self esteem and confidence is far from great now it's made me eveluate how messed up society is. You often go into shops and they only have teeny tiny sizes, and I've noticed some shops go down to a tiny size 4. We should all be able to feel comfortable in our own skin, no matter what size we are. In my personal opinion, I don’t think any size is wrong. If being ‘curvy’ wasn’t aloud or acceptable, there wouldn’t be clothing sizes out there ranging between a 14-22+! Same applies for girls out there who are sizes 0-10.
 Girls in general are judged way too much whether it be wearing the right make up having the right bag, having the longest legs or the most perfect skin.

Just because a girl isn't a size 8 doesn't make her beautiful or gorgeous, she may have the most lovely face or the most dazzling eyes. We all have different body shapes, some may be athletic, some curvy and some inbetween or a mixture, but it is so easy to get carried away into being what society expects. It's saddning how many girls and women have had problems with eating and it isnt just the girls who are teeny tiny who may have food issues it can affect any woman or male of any age or body shape.
So you yes you who are reading this blog you are beautiful, you may not look like a member of The Saturdays but you're just as gorgeous as they are, really. Find what clothes suit your body shape and embrace it, one day someone will love you just the way you are. Stay strong.

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