Monday, 24 October 2016

The value of reassurance

Being dyspraxic tends to mean that a lot happens in your life, if I was to list every scrape or situation I've got myself into over the years I would be here for hours. From broken bones and trips to A&E, to loosing objects and myself, numerous bruises where I have no idea where they've come from, struggling making friends and finding social situations a challenge and experiencing bullying. You name it it's probably happened. Being dyspraxic all the awkward situations seem to happen to you. ASide  from sore and bruised limbs and a sore purse from replacing things which I've lost, it's made me think the worst possible outcome in a lot of situations and do quite a bit of avoidance and hiding. Anxiety is something which I talk quite a bit about in my blogs. Some anxiety comes I think naturally alongside dyspraxia but for some it has a lot more of an impact on day to day life and a diagnosable mental health condition. If you are experiencing the latter please don't do what I do and be scared to do anything about it till later in life.   When you're dyspraxic you face quite a few challenges, the world can be an unpredictable, overwhelming place and I've got myself into so many pickles, alongside that comes a lot of general and anticipatory anxiety, social anxiety and the fear of fear and those horrible physical symptoms anxiety can bring.



Something which can really help is reassurance, now the anxious brain can at times seem like you want constant reassurance that you haven't messed something up, people don't dislike you and you're not as bad as your mind tells you. Then there's the feelings you're going to die or have something life threatening when experiencing anxiety attacks or the physical side to anxiety.  Rationally of course you're not but when in the moment it can be so scary. For loved ones this can be hard to understand at times, and knowing how to help can be challenging. But a little bit of reassurance can mean a lot to someone when they are going through a challenging time in life. The little things can mean the world, often people with anxiety don't want a lot of fuss, but even simply listening to someone can mean a lot and that they will be ok and the anxiety won't harm them can help ease the storm a little.


For a lot of dyspraxics and people who struggle with anxiety, having confidence and self belief in yourself is something which is so much more of a challenge. I've often been told that I need to have more confidence in myself and to think more positively about myself. It's so easy to compare yourself to others and not feel good enough and over analyse every tiny mistake and failure you make. But it's so important to remember that we're all facing some sort of battle or challenge in day to day life. I think if you experience bullying or other not nice experiences in life,  it can  have a huge impact on how you see yourself. Challenging and changing those negative thought processes into more positive ones is something so much harder, it's not easy and can take a lot of time. It's something I'm still working on and hope CBT may help me with, but everyone is different it's about finding what works for you. I recently got given some advice is to when something positive happens or you face a fear, try and remember it and hold onto it when you next have a challenging situation come up. This is all easier said than done, it takes time, and something I'm still learning. But you're more than your struggles and your labels, everyone has something that they are good at inside them even if your mind tries to convince you otherwise.


The last few months have been quite a challenge for me anxiety wise, and I just wanted to say a little thank you for the little bits of reassurance, it means so much.
I still  have quite a way to go managing my anxiety,  but I'm looking forward to but still understandably terrified about a new chapter in my life and hopefully getting the help I need. I recently faced quite a challenging situation applying for a new job and although my social anxiety was in overdrive, both thoughts and physically I found out last week I got the job, so some good has come out of a difficult time.

  My own experiences have fuelled these blogs and I hope if you're reading this it gives you a little bit of reassurance that you're not alone. As I sit here writing this, with a bruised chin and knee after a fall over the weekend, if you as prone to accidents it's not just you.  One thing I hope from these blogs is people get is a sense of realness, sometimes they might not be the most positive of blogs but that's a reflection to the world we live in. But there's also positives within it, and people who understand, and when you're dyspraxic there's never a dull moment. Life can be a struggle, it's not all all rainbows and sunshines, you  just have to hold onto that little bit of hope, and that things will end up ok and this too shall pass.


Here's a little bit of reassurance which I got written for me recently, I thought it might help others to share it.


3 comments:


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