On a personal level it's been a very mixed year for me I've had ups and downs. I've had quite a challenging year with my anxiety and finding the right help for it. But hopefully I've found a lovely lady who has taken the time to understand me, my anxiety and have a little knowledge about dyspraxia. Even though all my anxiety isn't dyspraxia based, I've found there to be a real lack of awareness and understanding about dyspraxia in the mental health services and how it can all interlink.
This year I feel like I've learnt a lot about myself, from going to conferences and events, to reading blogs from those with similar experiences, to simply having a chat with others. For many years I simply thought it was just Rosie being Rosie. I had no idea why I did so much the way I did or struggled. I had no idea why I was so much of a worrier. I spent much of my life growing up feeling isolated, confused and misunderstood and coping in very negative ways.
From learning about myself it has helped me learn about others, and empowered me to make sure others don't go through what I have or felt what I have. When I hit rock bottom a I felt hopeless, I thought nobody would ever understand me and that I didn't have anything to offer the world or any real purpose. But in those dark moments I found a glimmer of hope in helping others. I had found my purpose in life. To help those who have been seen as outsiders, misunderstood, different to their peers.
A lot of ignorance and stigma stems from lack of awareness. It's very important to me that education happens surrounding invisible illnesses, differences and disabilities.
This year I was invited to go on the Victoria Derbyshire show to talk about dyslexia/dyspraxia bullying in the workplace. Sharing my story was terrifying I didn't sleep beforehand and was very anxious the night before, for someone who struggles with social anxiety this was completely out of my comfort zone. But it was important to me that these issues get media attention.
This year I also completed walking the British 10k alongside fellow blogger Natalie. The experience was eye opening seeing so many people from so many walks of life wearing t-shirts with charities close to their hearts. Beforehand my anxiety made me think every worse case scenario possible, but I got there at the end.
Next year I hope to manage my anxiety/low mood better, to be able to try a lot of new things and experiences in my day to day life, to understand anxiety better and to hopefully learn to be kinder to myself and improve my confidence. I hope to live in the moment more not worry as much and start to enjoy life.
I'm ending this year on 200,000 views which has been such an achievement to me, thank you so much if you've taken the time to read my blogs it means a lot to me. I blogged earlier in the year about how blogging has helped me find my voice. It's also opened my eyes to how much these are real issues and how much work still needs to be done.
Thank you to all those who have been there for me this last year. I hope 2017 is kind to you. Never loose hope.