Monday, 10 September 2018

Things take time

Hi everyone I hope you're well?
I wanted to blog about something which I've been thinking about a lot recently and how a lot of things in life take time.

It can be very easy when you find day to day life more challenging to find yourself getting frustrated with yourself and question why something which others may take for granted may take you longer. I've always been someone who needs to have things broken down, as someone who has struggled with a lot of anxiety and social anxiety over time, I need to break my fears and situations of things I find more difficult to build my confidence up.

Another person close to me who is similar is my boyfriend Matt, recently he became Vice Chair of Dyspraxia Foundation a charity very close to our hearts. When I first met Matt he was studying for an Open University degree in ICT. I often received passing comments telling me he would, "never get there." As his degree was taking him a longer time, I became annoyed with the comments about how people could give up on someone so easily. 6 years on the charity have given him a chance, and he is valued, included and respected not just as the ICT guy but as Matt. Outside of his strengths and the comfort zones of ICT, Arsenal Football Club and pop music life still take him longer and more difficult. A man who finds social situations especially with groups, new people and trying new things anxiety-inducing and challenging. I'm grateful to the charity for taking Matt on board and look forward to his passion and the unique perspectives he can bring to the role.

Like Matt, I know too well how it feels to struggle emotionally which hasn't been helped by bullying and negative attitudes and stigma. At primary school, it was often assumed I wasn't trying hard enough or was being lazy when it was taking longer than my peers to learn or process the information and copy from the board, write neatly or play games in the school playground due to dyspraxia. In social situations especially in groups, new people, or people I don't know well,  people can often make comments like, "you're so quiet/weird/antisocial" instead of including me in their conversations when I've felt socially anxious which can be upsetting and affect my self esteem as having anxiety and being a huge worrier and overthinker can make you have thoughts such as they won't like me, they'll think I'm boring or annoying or my ideas and thoughts are embarrassing or rubbish.

The world we live in can feel very fast paced and modern society can make you feel like you have to have achieved or done something by a certain time or age. For many people and for many different reasons e.g. mental health and/or disability these milestones can take a little longer to achieve. Learning to drive, finding your place in the world of work or studying, living independently, or simply going out and doing what you love and enjoy in life or day to day tasks can take a lot longer. Which can affect self-esteem and mood. Everyone works differently and has different life circumstances and it can be tricky sometimes to get people who work  or live at a faster pace than you to understand this.

Life hasn't been too easy for me lately, but I just want to thank you for standing by me and this blog.

Just because someone takes longer to do something doesn't mean they don't want to be able to do it, they aren't being lazy. Their journey just might be in a different way down a different path. If anything it can make someone a determined, persevering person. It can also make them have empathy and understanding for others and their journeys in life. Don't give up on someone and keep believing in them when they struggle to. But simply listening can mean a lot.

Keep going, you're stronger than you think.

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