Saturday, 12 July 2014
Coping as an adult in a neurotypical world
Firstly I'm so sorry there's been a big delay and lack of updates in writing my blog had so much going on in the real world and simply not had the time.
One thing I've always noticed that when you look at information for conditions like dyspraxia, dyslexia etc a lot of it's aimed at children and there's not much advice and help for teenagers and adults. A lot of people assume people must have overcome the difficulties that they struggle with, they might see someone with good exam grades or maybe even a degree and in a well paid job and assume oh they must not struggle any more. In reality I know from my personal experiences the reality is very different especially that transition period such as going to uni and leaving home can be very daunting as being in the adult world of work. Even though someone's reading spelling or hand eye-coordination may have improved with coping strategies there's lots of other things often the little every day to day things that someone may struggle with that everyone else takes for granted such as doing house hold chores, being on time, remembering everything you need when you go shopping or what you need for the day, or making sure you don't miss a bus or train. Even things like cooking requires a lot of time keeping and memeory to stop things burning to a crisp. Add to this tiredness, stress and sensory overload and it can be a tangled mess of chaos and anxiety and can even lead to panic or anxiety attacks. As someone who has struggled a lot with both anxiety and also the pressures and need for organisation I thought Id write a blog to help people who may struggle with some of the things I might do and hopefully at the same time help friends and family to those who may be struggling undertand why someone may be doing/ behaving like they are. I hope it helps some of you out there.
1. Lists- something my mum and dad have been banging on about for years to me and it's soemting really simple and effective and can help memory. Write down everything you might need in a day or the jobs you need doing and the sense of relief when you can tick them off when you know you've done them. Leave post it notes around the house to remind you of important events and things to do. I know what some of you are proberly thinking what happens if I loose the list? This is where phones can really come into good use there's so many apps out there to help with lists and organisation and there's alarms you can set for reminders.
2. The night before- my boyfriend says I'm the worst procrastinator he knows as I often leave things to the last minute, put them off then end up in a state of chaos. Something I've been doing to help myself is try and get organised the night before whether it be packing a bag to go away, finding train tickets, sorting out what make up you're going to wear or what to wear to work the next day and have them all laid out.
3. Break things down- I know if I went to clean a house Id feel completely overwhelmed and nothing probably would get done and it would be left in as much mess to begin with. Break tasks down and aim to do bits at a time then go round after to double check you haven't missed anything.
4. Use technology- if you struggle with spelling of getting your ideas onto paper and organising thoughts there's so much assistive technology out there to help, don't be shy or embarrassed to ask about it, it can make a huge difference and impact.
5. Talk- explaining to those closest to you can really help and they can help with reminders etc my mum has been a god send over the years with the amount of pickles she's helped me out of. I'm also really lucky to have an amazing boyfriend (you can pay me later) and explaining sensory overload can really help too.
6. You're not on your own- I know sometimes it can feel like nobody else is going through what you are and it can make you feel like you're alone in your struggles but there's so many people out there going through what you are, don't stuggle and suffer in silence if you need a bit more help and support there are people who are going through the same battles as you. I'm very grateful to all the lovely people I've met via places like twitter especially some older people who have experiences similar to mine or have children who do it really does help and boost your confidence. Never be ashamed of having a brain which learns differently or is wired slightly differently there's so many amazing things you can do as well as the little things you might struggle with.
7 laugh- laugh about situations, a sense of humour can really help in times of pickles. Laugh, don't take it seriously take a huge deep breath, wipe away any tears and smile.
I really hope this blog has helped others out there and also made others aware of the battles people who have a hidden condition go through on a daily basis which you may have had no understanding about. Any feedback as always much appreciated.
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