Dyspraxia and anxiety in the workplace

From a young age I've always loved helping people, when I was at primary school I would always rush over if I saw someone who had fallen over in the playground or who was upset. I remember lining up my cuddly toys (all named) in a big circle and pretending to be a teacher, I even made my own register. I've also loved animals of all kinds from having pet dogs all my life, to Elvis and Lucky the hamsters (who was named after the Britney Spears song- blame my dad!) I also loved horse riding. I always knew I wanted to do something which involved helping someone or something. It's important to remember that no two dyspraxics see the same and will decide to go into the same field of work.

But when I got into the world of work there was a problem,whilst I have empathy and understanding for others for miles. I also struggle a lot with day to day tasks in day to day life which many take for granted. Simple tasks which require fine motor skills, co-ordination, memory and organisation. My brain takes a lot longer to process information. When I'm tired or under pressure it makes me prone to mistakes, mistakes I often have no idea why they happened. Then you add anxiety into the mix and beating yourself up and it becomes a vicious circle.

Anxiety over new and the unknown has always been a struggle for me. It always takes me that bit longer to get my bearings and to feel comfortable both in my environment and with other people and to come out of my shell. When I get anxious I can become quite shaky and panicky, which when you already struggle with fine motor skills isn't the best of combinations.

When you become an adult there isn't a magic wand, your differences, disability or condition don't  simply disappear or you grow out of them.  People need support and empathy as they go through life. To the outside world dyspraxia can make you come across like you don't care, not trying hard enough, slow, messy and in a complete state of chaos. Or socially someone who appears very nervous or doesn't speak very much. Alongside the lack of dyspraxia awareness and understanding which is out there. This ignorance, bullying and general complete lack of understanding, it made my anxiety 10x worse, become too anxious to speak and in a really dark place. Being told you will never get anywhere in life can really crush your confidence, when you already don't have much of that as it is. After realising anxiety was controlling my life I made the step to go to my doctors where I got given a diagnosis of anxiety and the relief of that it wasn't just me being a worrier, it's something I wish I'd done sooner in life.

It's important however to find something you enjoy or are good at, and despite my experiences having an impact on my mental health they have shaped me into the person I am and my values. I'm able to show so much empathy for the students I support in my job as a learning supporting various students with difficulties, disabilities and mental health conditions. My experiences have made me patient, encouraging and I'll never give up on someone who struggles either a student or a friend. I can also think outside the box and see the bigger picture meaning I see different solutions to problems and a unique perspective on tasks. My border collie Toby is also a huge part of my life and well being and don't struggle in silence if you are struggling with your mental health if you're dyspraxic or not there is help and support out there it's about finding what works for you and hopefully through therapy it will help me learn  to control my anxiety and not let it control me.

With time and a little bit of understanding and empathy many people
With dyspraxia/anxiety can achieve. For me I just need little reasonable adjustments which can make a huge difference to me. It will always take me just that bit longer than others to get there which  has been frustrating alongside often high levels of anxiety. It's made it more difficult to feel proud of myself when I achieve something,  but rationally  I need to have more confidence in myself and it shows resilience and determination something I know I should be prouder of and I hope if you're reading this now and you can empathise I hope you feel proud of yourself.

Life isn't a race, it's a journey, we all process information differently, in our own ways at our own paces. We all have mental health just as we all have physical health, and we all have different personality types. The world we live in needs diversity and difference to thrive, and we can all do a little bit to be kind and help someone come out of their shell. You never know what you or your business might gain from simply seeing things from a different perspective. The little things really can make such a huge difference to someones confidence.

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Dyspraxia, anxiety and inclusion

Inclusion is something which has always been at the core of my awareness work and when writing these blogs, as nobody deserves to feel alone and isolated. Inclusion seems such a wide topic, but the little things to make someone feel included can mean the world to not just them but their loved ones too.

I see inclusion coming up time and time again when it comes to dyspraxia either feeling included or people knowing what dyspraxia is. Whether it be learning inside the classroom, P.E or sport or making friendships. The amount of tears of confusion which came from me to my mum growing up, questioning why I never got invited to any parties, why I was always last being chosen for P.E and why nobody wanted to sit next to me at lunchtime. I would always question if I must have done something wrong or if it was my fault. Which as a parent must have been awful for my mum to hear.

 I've always been a very quirky person socially. Growing up the social side of dyspraxia was always something I was very self concious of, but it's something there needs to be awareness of as dyspraxia doesn't just affect people physically.  I've been told I have a very quirky dress sense- my arms can often be found with many bracelets.I have a love of butterfly prints, bows or floral especially in dresses and my fingers can be found with (often badly painted) brightly coloured nail varnish. Social anxiety can often mean I find it takes me a while to come out of my shell and not go into hiding, especially in new and unpredictable situations, and anxiety in general make controlling my emotions tricky,but once I feel comfortable in a situation, I tend to find it easier to relax with those older or younger than me, I've been told I have a very quirky sense of humour (got my dad to thank for that- very easily amused.)

My quirkiness, is something which makes me a unique person,which I see as a strength, it's also made me have a natural empathy for those who may be struggling, but over the years took me a long time to accept, growing up I would do anything to fit in. It has also lead to exclusion, when I was university I remember being ran away from as I was perceived as a weirdo and a freak, I've also faced awful exclusion and bullying

in the workplace. I've spent a lot of my time growing up feeling lonely and by myself, wondering why people were to scared to get to know Rosie. 

 People simply become frightened of things which they don't understand. A lot of people still don't know or aren't aware of what dyspraxia is and how it affects people. It is less known than other neurodiverse differences and difficulties, or if people have heard of it they just see it as clumsiness.
But dyspraxia is something which the general public needs educated on, the more awareness is generated, hopefully in time there will be more understanding. Once you take the time to understand dyspraxia and how it affects someone, ask questions not assumptions, as with any other hidden difference or disability or mental health condition it becomes not so scary. You don't have to have a difference or disability yourself to to take the time to understand. One of the biggest misunderstandings about difference and disability is that people assume that if they invite someone to something. they'll have to spend the evening parenting them or looking after them, for the vast majority of people, far from the case. Sometimes when you struggle with anxiety you might have to cancel plans or leave early, but that understanding and inclusion can help someone take those tiny steps forward. This was something which is echoed in my wonderful friend Alice's most recent blog about inclusion. In it she talks about the the little things people can do and by not making assumptions can make a real difference, to someones mental well being, confidence and how they go about day to day life. Whether as a child, young person or adult.

Behind someone's struggles and of course their strengths, is a person, someone who has thoughts, views, interests and opinions, people with differences and disabilities have the right to have their voice heard and listened to. Sometimes you have to simply dig a little bit deeper when getting to know someone, give them time to come out of their shell, take the time to get to understand things which might be seen as different, and remember that everyone has a different perspective of seeing the world we live in. The world we live in is rich with technology which is incredible, but sometimes we have to put the phone down, the laptop or i pad away open our eyes and appreciate the diversity which is around us.

 As an adult dyspraxic I still find some social situations tricky and will never find it the easiest coming out of my shell. But I am lucky to know some wonderful people who include me for who I am and value having employers who have a lot of empathy towards my dyspraxia and anxiety. Through my work with the Dyspraxia Foundation, I've never felt so included, I've met obviously Alice and also the wonderful Natalie another fellow dyspraxic blogger who has agreed to walk round the British 10k with me next month. Now as someone who felt completely excluded in P.E lessons, came last at everything and has the running style of a dyspraxic duck about to take off  the thought of being surrounded by professional runners, is something which makes me clammy just typing this. Despite it being one massive challenge for me anxiety wise as well as physically, that inclusion and resilience is something which will be getting me round, hopefully raising awareness helping others with dyspraxia feel included too, as I would hate for anyone to go through what I have. Even though the last few months have been a real struggle for me anxiety wise, I hope it shows to others determination.

Myself and my mum have been asked to come to answer questions at Dyspraxia Westminster: Dyspraxia London event and answer any questions parents may have about growing up with dyspraxia, some of the coping strategies I've developed over the years. If you're interested in attending the link is: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/dyspraxia-in-london-tickets-25406892700  I put a lot of my achievements over the last few years down partly to feeling included and I hope my inclusive nature for helping others. As I know from my own experiences that encouragement can give you the courage to ask for help and the strength to keep going when times are tough.

With nominations closing for the National Diversity awards closing on Wednesday. (It seems like this has been going on for ages.) Many of the wonderful people who advocate for dyspraxia awareness have been nominated, it would be wonderful for society to see the what dyspraxics can offer this world, please get behind them over the next few days.
I am grateful to everyone who has nominated me so far, for the kind comments, and the fact that this blog has helped others. If anything has helped at all and you still want to nominate me the link to do so is:  https://nominate.nationaldiversityawards.co.uk/Nominate/Endorse/29669name=Rosie%20Edmondson

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Simple adjustments- Dyspraxia/hidden differences in the workplace.

Over the last few weeks in the media there has a lot about neurodiversity in the workplace and how best to support people who think in a different way. This was something which came up in questions from the public when I was asked to go on the Victoria Derbyshire show, there was quite a bit of misunderstanding that if people have difficulties in the workplace they simply shouldn't be doing the job.  I think sometimes people get scared that they have to look after someone and spend a lot of time helping someone assuming that a lot of mistakes will happen. But in reality there are so many little reasonable adjustments which can be made, often things which take up no expense and little time which can make a huge difference.

It's understandable if you have no personal experience of differences/difficulties/disabilities to be a bit overwhelmed when it comes to helping someone, but so many people have struggles which are invisible to the eye, which can't simply be ignored. After I had experienced a particularly low day in a previous workplace, where there had been a lot of frustration, tears, feeling of worthlessness, my dad (undiagnosed dyspraxic, but has some very similar traits to me) came up to me and told me that it was like being a square peg in a round hole and  no matter what I did, or how hard I worked  the way I thought meant I would never fit into a mould, but that it was ok, and with the right help and acceptance I could find my worth and feet in life. 

In this blog I thought I would discuss some simple accommodations which can be made both in education/the workplace but in day to day life too to help someone who thinks in a different way. I hope they help you help someone out there and are useful. 

1. Acceptance

One of the greatest things you can give to someone to who thinks in a different way or has a difficulty or disability is to accept them for who they are and not try and change them. Difference is nothing to be scared of, not everyone has brains wired in the same way or processes information or the world around us the same, it's not wrong it's just simply different. We all as human beings have strengths and things which we struggle more with, just because someone has a label or a reason for these doesn't make them any less of a person. It's really important to remember that no two people with the same difficulty or difference are the same, there's no on and off switch and you simply don't just grow out of them when you become an adult. By accepting someone for who they are not only will give them the courage to gain coping mechanisms but develop self worth and confidence, plus you will get so much of an appreciation back. I know I probably bore people by saying thank you to them and how grateful I am. But for those who have taken the time to accept me for who I am quirks and all I'm forever grateful.

2. Boost self esteem/confidence

The emotional and social side of hidden differences is such a huge factor with many people with hidden differences and difficulties especially for those with little understanding out there such as: dyspraxia. It's something which is so important and can have such an impact on mental health and well being as many people with hidden differences and disability's often have anxiety and depression alongside. Whether due to bullying, past experiences, frustration there could be many reasons why.  A little bit of encouragement can go such a long way, it can give someone such a boost and feel like they're not as bad as sometimes they think they are. Simply just asking someone how you can help if you see them struggle can make a huge difference. 

3. Ask questions

It's so important with issues which are invisible to ask questions and find out more and how you can help someone, the more questions asked, the more awareness is generated and the less stigma and ignorance there is. 

4. Focus on strengths

As well as struggles there are many strengths people who think in a different way can bring and offer, such as: thinking outside of the box, seeing the bigger picture, creativity, understanding and empathy for others. Plus determination and resilience and never giving up.  

5. Give more time

New tasks can take a lot longer for someone with dyspraxia/dyslexia to master. I know for me any tasks which require a lot of fine motor skills/co-ordination will always take me so much longer than someone else, I'll make a lot of mistakes as I'm learning and will often will need to be shown quite a few ways how to do it or how to do it in my own way. But being put under pressure can cause stress and a lot of anxiety, just giving someone that extra time and a bit of a breathing space can make a huge difference.A little bit of patience can also help someone feel relaxed, before you think how long a task is taking someone remember that the brain/body is having to work 10x harder to do tasks others take for granted, but it also shows resilience and determination. If you do notice someone is getting very anxious from personal experience (hidden difference or not) incorporating self care and breathing strategies can be helpful.

6. The right environment

Just as time pressures can cause a lot of stress and anxiety so can the environment you have to carry tasks out in can as often there are issues surrounding sensory sensitivity such as: noise, heat and light. Distractions, background noise, bright lights, lots going on can all be very overwhelming, distracting and exhausting. But a few minor adjustments can make someone feel a lot calmer, less anxious and able to focus on the tasks ahead.

7. Escapism

Everyone chooses to relax in their spare time in different ways. Self care and making time to look after yourself is important to everyone. For some people with hidden differences their choice of escapism or how they choose to socialise may seem different to others. It all comes back again  to acceptance, you never know what you might find out  or learn when you broaden your horizons, don't just dismiss something because it seems different to what you personally wouldn't choose to do.


Finally I recently came across these interesting characters and could definitely relate to the second one (for me the ice cream would be probably half around my mouth and down my front too!) We are all different, unique individuals which all have a lot to offer this world. Until next time, remember to be kind to yourself!