Being Patient and feeling enough

Hello everyone, I hope you are well?
We have been living in such unprecedented  times and our daily lives have changed so much over the last few months. During recent weeks lockdown restrictions have been lifted allowing people to get back to a degree of "normal" life. But how and when people decide to do this may be different and it's important to be patient, not just now but generally in life.

The world we live in can be loud and very fast-paced, it can feel like you're constantly trying to keep up with it. It can feel like everyone who surrounds you is just getting on with things, not having to think too deeply or need support. You can feel like asking for help is seen as a weakness, or that being a highly sensitive, anxious, quieter person makes you not enough. But we are all different, we all process life and it's experiences at different times, all with our own unique perspectives and personalities. Some people like myself may find things more anxiety provoking may need more time and may feel things deeply. But being patient with someone can help both you and the other person. It can make them feel valued and heard, especially if perception and low self-esteem are issues.

I recently read a blog by my close friend Immie about the value of a mental health mentor and how as a dyspraxic quieter person, it can take time to not only find the right support but also open up about what is on your mind and experiences. It can take a lot of courage and perseverance to do this. What I am also learning is that we all need help, we're all human and it's ok to find the assertiveness to say if the help you're receiving isn't the right fit for you, it also doesn't make you unkind.

 It's something which I think needs to be talked about a lot more as you can feel like you're going through it on your own.  Being dyspraxic and having anxiety/low mood has always meant I've needed a bit more patience, whether it be with simple day to day tasks, studying or getting to know me. It also means I struggle with fatigue and depression and things can take quite a bit out of me. Being quieter with social anxiety it can feel like you're undervalued and that you have to fight for your voice to be heard. Also what you have to say is of interest or if anyone would want to listen. But the little things can make a huge difference to me and my self-esteem and self-worth. For me, it's made me thoughtful and a good listener and patient with other people and their struggles. 

It's also important to remember to be patient with yourself, and to show self-compassion and not be so hard on yourself. All of which I can find so hard.  Finding ways to express how you're feeling is different for the individual, either written, verbal or even through music and creativity. It takes quite a bit of time and trial and error to find what might or might not help you which I’m still learning. Social media can often create a false illusion of picture-perfect, whilst in reality, we all have struggles we all can find things tricky from time to time. I recently watched one of Stacey Solomon’s Instagram stories where she talked about being unapologetically true to herself and the right people in her life - finding what makes you happy. You might never be everyone’s cup of tea, but to those who love you that will always be good enough.

Until next time...

Long Distance Connections

Hello, everyone, I hope you are staying safe and well during these unusual times. I wanted to blog (for the first time in a long while) about something important to me and needs more understanding. This has become more spoken about recently due to the outbreak of the Corona Virus. Hopefully, during this period it will raise awareness of how precious connections can be with family, friends and pets for us all at and also generally when you don't find making those connections easy in the first place. I'm currently apart from my parents and border collie Toby- (animals can provide a lot of comfort to people who find social situations hard.)

As with all of my blogs I am only speaking from my perspective, everyone is different and experiences life differently. It's important to take the time to listen to someone and their story as an individual. Also, remember that there can be a lot more to someone's story than one blog post.

For some people making friends and finding people they connect with isn't easy. Especially if in their local area there isn't much understanding, awareness or opportunities which incorporate inclusion. It's easy for people to take for granted having family or friends living in close proximity, where you maybe can just pop round for a drink, a meal or a hug.

All of the above have applied to me. As a quieter person, who has always found social situations anxiety-provoking and had my fair share of misunderstandings and bullying. I also come from a quieter family and am an only child.  Making friends has never been easy for me and to be honest a really sensitive issue. I am dyspraxic and I have very different music taste to my peers and experience mental health issues of anxiety and depression. I also spend a lot of my time usually back home in Burnley Lancashire.  In short, it takes quite a long time to get to know Rosie and for Rosie to feel comfortable with people and to do things people maybe take for granted.

In the past, I've had difficult experiences of people not understanding why social situations and day to day life can be hard for me. Which is why understanding is important that not everyone has things close by and people do things in their own time. They didn't understand why I can't just do something, meet people, or go somewhere or why it's so anxiety-provoking for me. Also why my confidence in cities(and general) can be really difficult for me. Due to my difficulties, people didn't understand why it was taking me longer.  I've always struggled with low self-esteem and can also struggle with my mood too. It can make me overthink a lot and worry the same experiences will happen again, doubt how I'll be perceived and if people will always react the same. Anxiety can be tricky like that. The little things can mean a lot and make a difference.

Taking longer in life and being at distance from the people, things and pets I care about has made me an understanding, empathetic person who takes the time to listen. I'm grateful for the few people who take the time to listen to me and make me feel like my voice is important and matters.

After this period,  after seeing my family, dog and the few friends at distance I have. I want to build up my self-esteem and find more activities and connections where people accept me, and  I find my purpose to help with my mental health. Hopefully, in time I will be able to be more confident to be where I want to be in life, in my own way and time. Sometimes things aren't easy to explain, give a quieter person the time and space and you never know what you might learn.

Throughout this difficult time and in general please be kind to others, put yourself in other's shoes and understand that everyone is different and does things in their own time. Please don't compare time frames. If you see someone who's at distance from their loved ones show some kindness.

Take care of yourselves.
Until next time........