Saturday, 22 November 2014

Don't surrender, don't you change.

Firstly a huge thank you to everyone who has read my previous blog I really hope it helps
some of you. I hope this blog reaches out to a more wider audience although it will touch on dyapraxia or dyslexia I hope anyone will find it useful. Last weekend I attended the Dyspraxia Foundation confernce in Bristol and one of the presentations was on self esteem and confidence and in it Gill Dixon talked about her lovely son Joe and how we shouldn't change people to fit in and afterwards I thought oooh this could be a blog topic.

Wherever you look these days celebrity culture is everywhere on TV, magazines, reality TV programmes, social media, we 're always given a constant image of perfection whether it be how people look, or behave or are as people. To the every day normal Person that can be quite overwhelming if you have any kind of hidden condition whether it be learning, mental or medical or a more physical issue it can be even more overwhelming. We live in a world where sometimes to be seen as an exciting person you have to look a certain way enjoy getting completely trollied on a night out or fit in lots of differnt ways (too many for me to list.) If you don't enjoy doing x,y, z activity you're seen as a boring person who doesn't enjoy to socialise. In reality I think this is so so wrong and can lead to a lack of confidence, self esteem and mental health issues and eating disorders.

Whilst there's nothing wrong at all for enjoying the things I've just listed I'm partial to a cocktail or two myself there's nothing wrong if it isn't you, and I know from my personal experiences how many times I've been in tears or really anxious and felt worthless because I've been made to feel left out in social situations because my interests or my dyspraxic quirks haven't fitted in with evteryone else. People assume you'll automatically cause a fuss or an issue or want to go home early or a burden on the situation. The result can be very painful both physically emotionally and for a lot of people it can have a deep psychological effect. Another thing which was brought up in the conference was saying sorry and how a lot of people who have some Kind of difference end up apologising all the time even for things which aren't their fault it's like its almost the blame is automatically put on them because they might not have the confidence or assertiveness to Stand up for themselves again this can have a deep effect on the person a lot more than what you think it might do. I think It's so
Important to remember that not everyone verbalises or says when they're feeling hurt or upset as they don't want any attention drawn to them.

If you're one of the people who I've been describing it's ok, you're not alone, there's so many other activities and fulfilling opportunities you can enjoy which may not always be what society classes as the 'norm' maybe not even age specific. I used to love going to Aqua aerobics when I was younger as it really helped with my co-ordination 99% of the people who went were older than my mum and retired. The first session I felt like a bit of a lemon but it was something which I really got into and the jacuzzi after was an added bonus. Find things you like to do and social occasions you enjoy. Even though I find some social situations difficult and quite anxiety provoking Ive found situations where I feel comfortable.

Please please don't try and change someone, you have no idea the damage it can cause, accept people for who they are, widen your social horizons see the bigger picture. You never know what someone could give to your social group if you gave them a chance and time to get to know them. There's a whole world out there other than the world of celebrity, there's so many incredible people out there who aren't celebrities. Choose the celebrity's you look up to wisely the amount of times I see people tweet x celebrity makes me sad because of how perfect they are. Should the celebrities we like really make us sad? Are we liking them for superficial reasons? Surly the person/ people you like should be there to have a positive influence on your life and motivate you to achieve your goals and dreams in life. You are all beautiful even if you don't look like evryone else we are all unique human beings we are all different not clones or sheep of each other. Don't look down on someone unless you are helping to bring them back up. Often it's the girls who look like what society deems beautiful who are called beautiful and pretty all the time, why not tell all women they're beautiful or pay them a compliment it could do wonders for their self esteem and confidence. Just to be acknowledged often the people who are acknowledged all the time already know how beautiful they are some women never get told they are. The most beautiful thing isn't necessarily how someone looks it's what's in the inside someone can have a beautiful heart. We should never ever forget about inner beauty.

If you are lucky enough to be different embrace it, it can be so hard in a world which is so ignorang against difference, fight against it be proud of yourslelf, and if you're one of these people reading this now I'm proud of you to cope in a world like it does today takes a lot of inner strength and determination. Keep being you and don't try and change others.
In the words of Nicola Roberts "wouldn't it be wrong if we were all
The same, don't surrender don't you change."

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