Determination

As a final blog for this year (knowing me I'll probably end up doing more) but I've decided to write this one on determination. Determination is one of the most inspiring qualities and sometimes overlooked qualities someone can have. When you get diagnosed with a hidden condition whether it be learning/medical/medical you and the people around you have a constant battle, because the condition is invisible people have very little understanding on how much someone may be struggling, so it can be a constant battle to get help, awareness and understanding. Now I'm older I can appreciate the battles, tears and anxiety my mum went through to get me a diagnosis of dyspraxia/ dyslexia she got told by my primary school I was too clever to need help and she was just an over protective parent, back then there was very little understanding of dyspraxia. A lot of people assume when someone is diagnosed with a hidden condition that they get all the help and support they need, the reality could be far from that. Not only did my mum have to fight to get me the help I needed, she had to fight against the stigma and lack of understanding about the condition, she got told I would never be able to walk properly or that I was constantly careless needed to try harder even though I was trying 10x harder than everyone else. So I suppose this inner determination has been within me and my family since I was really little.  My mum always tells me when I was a little girl and we used to go to children's playgrounds and even though I couldn't do most of the things which were there I always had the determination to have a go and a try. Even at things which are so un me. I once tried ice skating, I got told there was half an hour before the arena closed before I had to get around it. Safe to say I've never been ice skating again.


I've always tried to do things I've been told I can't do. If someone says something negative about me or tells me I won't achieve things. I'll always push myself to get there, it may take me longer but I'll always get there in the end. In the last few years I've faced a lot of ignorance and misunderstanding at the time it really affected me and had such a detrimental effect on me, but then something changed, it made me determined to make a difference so nobody went through what I had done and to make a difference through blogs, social media, charity work and fundrasing.


When you have a hidden condition people often focus on what you can't do and what you struggle with, or the quirks associated with them. People are often underestimated and people assume things can't be overcome or things will always be how they are. Over the last few years there has been an increase in people making up they have hidden illnesses or conditions on social media, to me the tell tale sign of genuinity is if people have the strength and determination to fight, things might not be easy but there will always be a glimmer even if a tiny glimmer which will have the determination to fight and not let the struggles beat them or to seek professional help in those battles. When something takes you 10x longer to achieve something it makes you appreciate it so much more. You never take anything for granted, even in the darkest times when you want to give up. If you see or know someone who you think might have a hidden condition please don't underestimate them take a few seconds to understand how long it has taken them to achieve something, they won't complain or moan about their struggles they just want a little understanding.


Since moving to London a few months ago I've become a lot happier, I'm taking up opportunities which have been given to me and have used previous negative experiences to help me change them into positives. Even though I have a long way to go, I feel like I've proved a lot of people wrong especially those who have underestimated me and said nasty things in the past. I will always have the determination to fight for the causes which mean a lot to me, everyone deserves a chance in in life and for someone to understand, there needs to be training so teachers and students alike are aware of the many struggles children and young people go through. There needs a shift in society which understand and celebrates differences and sees these as not as a burden but an assest which with the right and help understating everyone can achieve their potential in life who may just learn in a very different but possitive way.