Friday, 9 January 2015

Anxiety and facing the fear of the unknown

Thank you so much to everyone who read Matt's last blog post it means so much to both him and me for having a read too. I hope it might have helped some of you out there or a relative or someone you know. My next blog may be quite short, but I'm in a positive mood so I thought I would post this. When you have anxiety/and or depression or maybe just strugle with self esteem and confidence fear of unknown situations can be such a big deal, you can get yourself worked up so much you don't want to go and can avoid situations. It can be crippling, you always think what if I make an idiot out of myself? What if it all goes horribly wrong? Sometimes it can be a whole lot of random jargon spaghetti which can be bubbling around your head which can trigger panic and anxiety attacks. I remember when I used to go to events and social situations I used to be a gittery wreck my hands would be shaking and sweaty I couldn't give eye contact and couldnt say positive things about myself or I used to go silent altogether or completely avoid the situation. A lot of people call this fear of the unknown. Tonight I went to an event, it was on my mind all day and was overthinking constantly. I was very close to not going. Talking and thinking positively about myself in front of people has never been one of my main strengths. I would always avoid answering questions about myself by asking others lots. If you know me well you might have seen me do it.

I did end up going and here's some strategies which I used which might help you too!- let me know Id they've been of use to you.
 1. I was very lucky that my boyfriend agreed to come with me and that made me feel a lot more relaxed and gave me the confidence to go and do it again even if it was on my own. So having someone with you when it's a new event and can gradually build your confidence up, you know that you'll have someone to talk to.
2. Take little steps if it all gets too overwhelming take little steps in your head and praise youself for every little step like getting on the bus, getting on the train, finding the place, going inside.
3. Think of something motivating, before I went I intagrammed a quote saying believe in yourslef, and tried to make myslef think positively.
4. Today has been a lot of breathing techniques to help myslef calm down both at the event and beforehand.
5. Don't feel obliged to stay for the whole event or social meeting unless you have to, we left before it finished and ready to go. Know in the back of your head you can leave if you need to and it doesn't make you a bad person.
6. Rationalise your thoughs- what is really the worst that can happen.
7. Talk to people how you feel, I had some lovely friends Megan and Claire who
Decided to tweet me before the event and tell me I could do it and honestly it was the biggest boost. If you know someone who struggles give them an emotional boost.
8. Medication can help not for evryone and not for everyone long term but it can help sometimes for some people to help them in situations they struggle with.
9. YOU CAN DO IT!!!
It may be hard, sweat inducing, scary, everything of that all in one but the feeling afterwards can be so good. I was able to talk to two people about my blogs and maybe future projects and even myself in a positive way slightly, I blushed like crazy and probably didn't make much eye contact but I did it a little. Fear of the unkown can be so crippling and can come into our daily lives so much, do something which scares you today. You're worth it and can do it! Please tweet or dm me if you want any more advice.
Until next time..... Thank you and keep going, you've got this!

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