"Life" has always taken me longer, whether it be getting dressed, writing an assignment (or these blogs) or being able to face various situations due to social anxiety/anxiety. There's a running joke in my household that I've been running late since birth and was procrastinating in the womb (I was a month overdue)
At school/university, I became very aware that things took me that bit longer. I felt like I was behind everyone else and that was before I attempted to leave the house. As an adult due to anxiety and dyspraxia things do take me longer both dealing with situations and day to day tasks, especially if it involves travelling, experiences new places, new people or crowds to name a few. It means it takes time to step out of my comfort zones and to feel comfortable and confident when meeting people or in group situations due to social anxiety.
This has affected my self-esteem and confidence as I can be quite hard on myself, prone to beating myself up and doubting myself. I'm lucky to have a boyfriend who's flexible and patient with me. I'm very grateful to him for this and all he helps with. Step by step I’m hoping to build up my confidence and self-esteem in trying things which I find more difficult. I also think it can take time trying different things which can help.
Often, from an outsider looking in perspective, assumptions can be made those with difficulties and/or mental health conditions, can't be bothered or lazy. The brain is working harder to do things which others can take for granted. A listening ear, a little bit of time patience and empathy can go a long way. Words can make a huge difference to someone in helping them believe in themselves when they struggle to.
It's made me persevering person and someone who has more patience and empathy and understanding for other people's journeys, especially for those whom life has never been naturally easy. A few months ago I completed Parallel London 10k event. Where I saw so many people who had various difficulties, disabilities and mental health conditions take part. It was eye opening to see how inclusive the event was. We were told at the start that it wasn't about times, as long as we got round in our own way. That made me feel more relaxed as it was non-judgemental.
I love seeing others achieve especially when it's not been an easy journey. I really respect people in the public eye who speak out about their mental health especially Zoella with her anxiety. I've been loving watching Mollie and AJ on Strictly Come Dancing. I've always respected Mollie, as she's always been open about her childhood experiences with dyslexia which means life takes her a little bit longer. I have empathised with her and find her quite refreshing. I have loved seeing how much perseverance and hard work have gone into their performances each week from both of them. Her kind words over the years have meant a lot to me.
I hope by writing this blog helps others maybe feel less alone. I have found it quite therapeutic writing it.
I'm grateful to those there for me on my journey, I hope you know how much I appreciate you and what you do for me.
Wherever you are on your journey, keep going you're a lot stronger than you think you are!
Until next time.....
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